This is to be my last OCR of the year (new addition to the Clan MacBoardman due to arrive early in the New Year) so it seemed fitting to choose an event with apocalyptic overtones and this did not disappoint!
The end of the world. The time of reckoning. The resurrection of the dead
Obstacle teasers
Mark, Dean and the JD crew burst onto the OCR scene in April with their inaugural event at Salisbury Plain’s FIBUA village which received rave reviews – their event at Bordon promised to be tough, but they kept the pre-event publicity fairly low-key with only a few obstacle teasers put out on social media.
“I had never ran in the first wave before, so I don’t know whether it is customary for the Elites not to have an organised warm-up”
Sand is the word
Bordon’s Tank Training area – not a stranger to Brutal10 runs and OCRs – has some of the most famous mud in the UK, but it was to be a sand theme for this race in more ways than one. The car park was well-signposted but unfortunately the car parking left a bit to be desired – I was asked to move 3 times, and having to pay to park in sand when there’s a tarmac parking area (which most other events use and haven’t charged for) half a mile away seemed a bit cheeky.
This was the only gripe – registration was slick and the event village minimalist but had all the necessary with well-organised bag drop, music and MC, heated, straw-floored changing rooms and somewhere to buy a hot drink. This was to prove a lifesaver as the temperature was a balmy 6 degrees C and the rain did not stop. There was also some guy from Obstacle Kit who put up a tent…
The Elite warm-up
I had never run in the first wave before, so I don’t know whether it is customary for the Elites not to have an organised warm-up and was surprised that we were herded into a narrow gully where we did a few star-jumps and then set off!
Water mixed with sand
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From the start we were straight into water and sand – the course was well marked and marshalled, with it being clear we were going through the water and not around it. Most military training area puddles will have a shallow area between the ruts the wheels make, but I found that this is not always the case with tanks and the tried-and-tested “run through the middle” tactic did not work so well here. We passed a dead tank in one of the bodies of water – pausing for a moment to work out whether we should go under, over or around it – then onto open sand for some wooden hurdles.
The tyre carry do nots
A gentle trail run section then brought us to the tyre carry, in a loop along a gravel track then muddy moorland before a water crossing back to close the loop. Some racers who rolled their tyre down the hill into the water found to their cost that it’s not easy to empty water out of a tyre.
The RDs presumably thought we would miss sand by this stage, so took us back out onto the flats – and a hay bale obstacle. This should have been a doddle, but the fact that they were tiers of round bales meant there was nothing to grip onto and made it more challenging.
Platinum Rig
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From here we looped back to the event village and monkey bars – this had been released as a pre-race spoiler as the combination of this and the hang tough on the other side looked remarkably similar to the OCR World Championships’ “Platinum Rig” – the first few bars were fine, then the middle section was a foot higher and took more than a little effort. I made it across, wondering whether Mark or Dean were fans of Ninja Warrior.
All ‘tyred’ out
The second tyre-related obstacle was a double-whammy – dragging the tyre towards you hand-over-hand by rope, then running it back to its starting position. After a bit more running on sand we then had the first obstacle which made me glad I had decided to wear gloves – dragging a block of concrete through wet sand by a chain.
Hang-tough
We came back to the event village for hang tough – I decided to keep the gloves on as they had served me well for the monkey bars, but this was not a good choice as I came off the rings halfway across. This hurt as it’s usually one of my favourite obstacles – but that mental hurt was about to be eclipsed by physical hurt.
Sandbags! We had been warned
We had been offered the chance to buy them. I had trained for this – with a kettlebell sandbag or with my 40-odd-kg son on my shoulders – but only running for a few hundred metres. The Spartan Beast sandbag carry seemed like a long one, and at the time it was the longest I had done – the JD sandbag carry eats two of these for breakfast then comes back for more!
First course was the weight – red 30-35kg (they were wet!), blue 20kg.
Cheating with the blues
This was apparently supposed to be red for guys, blue for girls but there was some confusion when picking these up: Those of us who “chose” the red were unimpressed to see guys steaming past us carrying a blue! The confusion went right to the top though because in the pictures some of the podium finishers can be seen carrying a blue. That’s why they were over an hour ahead of me, obviously.
Main course was the distance – at the time of writing, opinions vary as to how long we carried these bags for. Some say a mile, some say 26 miles – but it was long enough to have cramp in forearms, repeated loss of grip, cracks in the neck and shoulders which would make Chiropracters and Osteopaths wince. This was the first time in a long time I had seriously considered throwing in the towel.
The Sandbag Creed became my mantra
Image credit MyBibNumber, www.mybibnumber.com
This is my Sandbag. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My Sandbag is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. My Sandbag, without me, is useless. Without my Sandbag, I am useless.
Did I mention that we also took these bags over a wall and under a barbed-wire crawl? As we dumped the sandbags back at the event village we had the first water station - just for laughs, bottles of water when no-one could hold anything steady!
Swamp of dreams
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Running out onto the sand and trails again I felt light and gazelle-like with the sandbag off my shoulders, but this was quickly squelched out of me as we hit the swamp and bog section. Bordon offers proper swamp – not an “Oh Dear, My Nike Airs might get a bit wet” swamp, but swamp where they may find petrified racers in a thousand years. Swamp where you can disappear up to your armpits then grope around for something firm to haul yourself out with.
Feared for my life
Rope ladder climb up, horizontal cargo net scramble over the top (this was above the entrance to the start line) then down the scaffolding on the other side. This was the first time this year I have been properly scared on an obstacle – another feather in the cap for JD!
Running blind
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I have lost track (!) of where they were, but there were several 8-foot walls to negotiate and a wooden window dotted around the course. They may have been at this stage, or earlier or later – the “heel over” technique did me proud and I popped up over them all, but I now can’t remember where they were. This race also gave me newfound respect for runners and racers with visual impairment – I got something (probably sand) in my eye quite early on, which meant I could see very little out of that eye. This really throws off your balance and your ability to read the terrain.
Happy Penguin
After another km or so in the woods we came to another new innovation - I have yet to find out what the official name for this was – Marshal Louise suggests the “Duck Hop” – but it seems also to have been unofficially Christened “The Happy Penguin”! An elastic loop around your ankles means you could only hop or shuffle your way around this track (with a cheeky vault over a fallen tree in the middle).
Tank Bath/ Parallel Bar and more Sand
More wet trail running brought us to the tank bath with parallel bars on the way out. Note to self: these types of bars tend to be symmetrical, so if there is a horizontal bar at shin level on the other side, there is likely to be one on this side too. Even if it is under the water. And being under the water does not make it less uncomfortable if you crack your shins into it.
Running through more water we came to another dead tank – the inside of which looked strangely warm and inviting – and we looped back into the woods for the bucket carry. Bucket full of what, I hear you ask? That’s right, wet sand! Here are just some of the ways to carry the sand bag bucket…
Shoulder carry
Drag method
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African Influences
My father was born in Nigeria and the African influence must have shone through as I found the most efficient way to carry this was on top of my head. I also have no idea how long this carry was for, nor how many people had “accidentally” lost some of their sand on the way round, but you couldn’t see the marshal or the place to return your bucket for most of this walk.
Out onto the sandy tracks again and we came to another wall – with no marshal in sight I called out “Over or under”? A shout came back from the other side “Over”, so up I go and sit astride the distinctly-wobbly top of this wall, to see a fellow racer standing grinning at a water station on the other side.
Tractor tyre flips
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Out onto the sand flats again we came to the tractor tyre flips then back onto sandy tracks lined with gorse. I had forgotten my trusty Garmin and it was here that I really missed it – with no idea how long I had been out for or how far I’d covered, if I stopped concentrating I would find myself walking and had to be jerked out of a reverie several times by people catching up with me.
Rope Climb to finish
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All of a sudden there was the rope climb! Hug from marshal Lorraine of OCRAUK, whisper of the word we had put together from the letters scattered around the course, zip up the rope!
My warm feelings at having made it up the rope climb in one go was reflected by the rope – the J-hook decided not to let me go and the exhortation to attempt a sprint finish was marred slightly by still being attached to the rope.
One final puddle to go, a little more uphill sand then home to one of the coolest medals and the best race-finisher’s t-shirt so far.
Final Thoughts
I would like to congratulatate Team Inov-8 who ruled the day; for me – I’ve been weighed, measured and found wanting but will be back for more!
Judgement Day Bordon – a truly great event of Biblical proportions